Nov. 17, 2021

The Science Behind Lasting Relationships

#29: Bestselling author and relationship expert Logan Ury joins Chris to discuss the science behind successful relationships. They discuss how to build relationships that last a lifetime, how to apply relationship science to professional relationships, and how to make sure you have a fulfilling marriage once you find a partner that is right for you. 

Logan Ury (@loganury) is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach and the author of the bestselling book How to Not Die Alone. She is also the director of relationship science at the dating app Hinge. Previously, she ran Google’s behavioral science team (The Irrational Lab). 

“Love is natural, but dating is not” - Logan Ury


Selected Links From The Episode

Connect with Logan Ury: Website | Twitter | Instagram

Logan Ury’s Book: How to Not Die Alone

Find your dating tendency: Quiz

Relationship contract: Google Doc Template

Notable relationship researchers: Eli Finkel | Dr. John and Julie Gottman

Friendship in the age of loneliness by Adam Smiley Poswolsky: Book 


Full Show Notes

Who is Logan Ury? [00:14]

Why she titled her book “How To Not Die Alone”. [01:32]

Does being in a relationship improve your life according to research? [02:38]

Why Logan Ury went from behavioral scientist to dating coach. [03:13]

Dating is a relatively new phenomenon, how does that affect us?[04:33]

Do arranged marriages and set-ups work? [05:50]

Does having more options make dating harder? [08:54]

Why the idea of ‘the one’ or having a soul mate is a harmful idea. [11:00]

How to transition from a maximizer to a satisficer personality in dating.  [12:02]

The three dating tendencies (which one are you?). [14:08]

Why don’t we ever learn about how to date better? [17:59]

Which couples are most likely to break up (according to relationship scientists). [19:40]

Can you learn to have more successful relationships? [22:42]

Four ways relationship science can level up your professional relationships. [24:23]

Why you should stop searching for a ‘spark’. [29:13]

Looking for a life partner, not a prom date. [31:44]

Why you need a relationship contract (and other hacks for married couples). [34:13]

Why you should have other significant others. [39:40]

How Logan Ury wrote her book and overcame procrastination. [44:10]

Should you write a book? [46:30]

Logan’s goals for 2022. [48:09]

What does Logan Ury think of dating apps? [49:25]

How can you make friends as an adult? [50:59]

How to connect with Logan Ury. [53:18]



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